Skeeter Writes for Me

I didn't expect to enjoy spinning a top as much as I did and for now--am. There is a simple satisfaction of separating this balanced object from my surprisingly matched fingers. I've only spun this top about twenty times over a few days but as I watched this last spin I teetered at the threshold of what simpleness meant to me. I immediately crafted a fantasy of the perfect and everlasting spin and that seeing this would feel magically pleasureable. It quickly became clear that it was the unexpected quirky spins and movements I enjoyed. Each dance depended on the moment and manner of release from my meat-mitt grip. I studied this machined wooden toy and realized it wasn't as perfect as the others strewn across the display. My eyes followed the rings that had been dissected from the massive tree it was plucked from as they wandered throughout. This tree must have grown against nature as it pressed them during deficient conditions and during abundance grown wider. This s

If you truly looked at me, you'd know a foolish little man with follies trying to be the philosopher. You'd see my stubborn grasp of rope as it frays to a thread with the abyss below and thundercloud above while imagining what the sun feels like. This is the fool. The wise man stands on a ladder. Sometimes I'm just sad. I always know why and I accept it. What strength is there in getting up feeling sunny everyday? It's the heaviness that requires effort to lift weighted eyelids, see the sun, and smile at it.

I've plenty of time to kill in the dealership's waiting to live area. A quote on a T-shirt today: Live with the relentless pursuit of better . I think this sounds dumb. Relentless--isn't this creating anxiety where it is useless or unnecessary? Pursuing better doesn't even mean you have to achieve anything. We hope to, and we can be okay with that. It's really the hope for the better, getting better, looking at our progress, and to me every little improvement adds up. Man, I really hope I'm getting better. I know that I am better when I consider my life, and where I started to be conscious about what better meant.

I absolutely abhor hearing someone say they are god fearing. Upon hearing this I immediately recognize your morality as being dictated to you without questioning your own character as being weak or strong. You say this meaning you are good and follow a higher power that has shown you some better way but what you mean is if there was no fear of punishment you'd easily succumb to the very things preached into yourself that you shall not do. I choose my morality based on my roles in life and my understanding of immediate and lasting consequences as they relate to others and this isn't always so black and white. Whether you realize this or not, you do this too and I now am the same as you. So why fear God? Why not own your actions and be good based on something else. Call it faith, call it good or justify your reasoning, just don't fear your God. Love yourselves, love others, pick someone you love and be good because you love being good. Be neutral, be fluid, and understand

The middle is full of conflict. We have a choice. One man says,"It will be darkness, for it is much easier to destroy the light within than the darkness without." I'll keep my flicker of light dancing in the gloom. I've never been comfortable with easy anyway.

Dear Sun, Too many days of rain. I dread this abominable rain upon rain. Too many weeks of dreariness and gutters overflowing with the rubbish of humanity. A deluge of memories dilutes my soul and pours me into the dinge to translucently consort with the world. Too easily is my patina tarnished and I sulk into an opaque worm halfheartedly contorting above a soggy demise. Too many rainy days and so many worms unearthed and then plunged to their deaths. Hurry Sun! Come--recede this morbid river from my eyes and dry my memories into the deepest wormholes of regret. Sincerely, Grey Worm